Lyrics

I was born

I was born under a blackened sky, heavy with the first rains of the year.

I lived with the weight of the promise and the fate of a purpose I did not fully understand

I am twenty-five years into a life, that’s been shaped by a feeling of coincidence

All my plans have been shaken through a sieve, of circumstance and half-hearted belief

I’ve never seen the face of a man that didn’t have the longing deep behind his eyes

It’s subtle in its grip and effect, that many ignore and most will reject

It’s a destiny for only some to recognize

I’ll never fully be known

Until my life’s been traced out on a stone

Where the flesh and the bone will sift out and remain

And abandon the link to an earth without sustain.

My broken heart

Alone again after twenty years, of being so safe in your love

I had gotten to the point, of feeling I had enough

I was content, until I heard the shake in the officers drawl

I would like to say to you, I don’t believe in your

Rebuilding of my broken heart that used to feel somewhat secure

Once I heard a singer say, that he just couldn’t understand

The pain of losing the one he loved, to something he couldn’t command

I would like to say to him, you wouldn’t know until you try

And I could say a hundred times, I hate you even more

For breaking up my hearts healing and leaving my scars return

Am I so terrible now for instantly thinking of me

And how I’ll spend 40 more years carrying this dead half of me

She was my heart and all my soul and you coldly taken her from me

And I don’t know if I will ever love you the same

Or have the faith I used to have in your good and merciful way

Ohio

Oh the games we play when we just need a friend

Someone to open up to

Oh the games, the games, the games we play

When we just need someone to talk to

Well I am scanning the horizon for any a sign of moving

That maybe might lead to a conversation of soul politics or improving

Well I am half a pack into, my last cigarettes

And I’ve taken two more shots than my body’s used to

But it hasn’t yet lead to regret

Well the lights are dimming across the courtyard under a sliver of moon

Oh Ohio you’d be the death of me, if I didn’t know I’s leaving soon

Ever since you’re gone

Walking this way cuts at least five minutes off from my trip out and back everyday

Broken windows and newspapers all around no one dares to come around here no more

Everything is there just like it was the day before you left us all for good

There are a lot of nights where I can’t fall asleep the trains in the distance seep through my yellowed blinds

And sometimes I think I could stay in here for days and weeks would go by before they knew I’d passed on

But only because they’d not gotten my 450 before the third of the new month

Sometimes I think back to before I had ever met you on your front porch

I used to walk and watch you through the screen reading your books and drinking your black tea

Not it feels like there is a part of me missing that just won’t let the rest live on ever since your gone

Cutting my ties

Cover your love over me, I’m gonna need something stronger than just my belief

And don’t just wrap me up in it, pick me up and put me down where I won’t waver a bit

I want your essence to be my essence too, to course through my veins and fill up my head with the truth

To seep through my skin and burn behind my eyes, I want to be known for you and not some dream unrealized

I’m cutting my ties, from the defaults I know, I’ve allowed to grow, and shape my life

Before I die, I want something to show, a seed that’s been sown, before my eyes.

My life is not a dark sea to negotiate, it’s not a riddle of diversions and distractions to mitigate

I am tired of wandering around, and being led my direction from purposeless christians hell bound

If you gotta burn me, and break my bones, and hold my head under the water.

Where I’ve found you

Music might be the poetry of my soul in the morning

And whiskey might be the inspiration of my heart late at night

Oh God tell me what is right

I swear I’ve seen your face through a cloud of cigarette smoke

I’ve felt closer to you through vice than on any Sunday morning

I aint saying anything about how I went and searched for you

But what I have is experience about how it is that I found you

Wet roads

I’m going back on the wet roads of January, where the snow doesn’t fall annually

I’m alright with being alone, I’m alright knowing six years ago I killed someone

On the wet roads of January

The air is thick and doesn’t move much at all

It creeps and brings the dampness under the door and on the back of my neck

A shudder takes me back to the morning after

And the feeling that shaped every resulting day

My hair is full and the corner of my eyes don’t show any wrinkles

And I look at least 10 years younger than I am

My blue eyes still shine like when I was seventeen

But time has beaten on my soul

It’s in our hearts

The train whistle sounded hauntingly through the air

Desecrating the silence that the night brought to bear

The same winds blew over the four corners of town

With the wild flower seeds that it carried around

Through the brick houses the mansions the banks and the stores

Through the shanties and shacks of the needy and poor

It unifies us

But that same wind that joins the hands of us all

Works to erode and put a wall

It’s on the winds the rich sail and fly in their plans

Or brings the poor dryness instead of much needed rain

Our worries and cares and the things we rely

In the end are the things that distinguish and divide

It separates us

From the TV to the internet our cars and big houses

Lifestyles of destruction and divorcing our spouses

Maybe our culture is one of destruction

We’re just now trying to mitigate our consumption

The wild west was tamed the atom unlocked

The access of a bullet lock barrel and stock

It will destroy us

Contributions and charities sent over seas

When our neighbors are the ones that can’t make their ends meet

The food of the rich harvested by the poor

That organic produce is something they’ll never afford

Well-meaning well-wishers vote inside a booth

And hoist up their candidates to tell them the truth

They will inform us

Well millions are dying of malaria world-wide

Over a banned chemical from reports falsified

And some are suggesting to be human is sin

That mother earths dying at the hands of her kin

With all that’s occurring it’s easy to do

To curl up in a ball with a bottle or two

But a fifth won’t affect the issues that lie

Within our hearts and our souls and our minds

It’s in our hearts

Funeral

Walking to harbor to see if the boats still remember me

I’d been all but two summers as a boy less than 16

The wind blew my hat off and into the bays chop

It swallowed up that part of me like it never really noticed

The birds only come down, if it’s a sure thing

Gliding on the wind swells, taking in everything

My grand dad was a sailor, who felt his way back to port

But he never found them answers, on the end of any hook

And now I am scattering the ashes of this man

Watching my dad cry, I’ll never regret being his son

We’re all here at the inlet, watching him float away

Somehow I know he’ll always be part of Barnegat Bay

Nothing I can say

Nothing I can say, will ever change enough

And everything I’ve done, is already too much

You won’t put back the pieces

You’ll never see in away, divorced from our past

Our story always will include, a pain that continues to last

I took something that wasn’t mine

It’s OK

It’s Ok to be afraid of being alone

It’s alright to never wear those same clothes

It’s ok to not ever visit those bars

Or fall asleep if you’re not in, your friends’ arms

You’re broken, and you’re damaged, but it’s alright to need healing

Your beauty still shines right through your guarded eyes

You’re still pure despite what’s happened in your life

Don’t let the lies build and break down your heart

You weren’t exposed or purposely set apart

A dampness has settled like a yoke that you can’t hold

Its weighted your soul like the cloven-hoofed coats of wool

And like a good shepherd we bring you to rest and peace

And slowly the scars fade until they no longer can be seen

Without Comparison

Without companion I spend my nights

Without comparison of wrong and right

You don’t know what I’m capable of

Every experience could shine a bit brighter

Every experience could cut a little cleaner

Sales Info

If you can’t make it out to my CD release party this Saturday night, and you don’t see me around town enough for a hand-to-hand transaction, here are some ways you can own your very own copy of Without Companion.

1.  send me a personal order at iancnelson.music@gmail.com.  we can work out payment through email but our main options are paypal or sending me a personal check in the mail.

2.  Order online here.  This is an online distributer that stocks a few of my CDs.  They take a $4 cut for each CD, so if you want to support me in full and not in part, you can use option #1.  This same company is currently working to put my music on iTunes, Amazon, eMusic, etc., but this process takes a few weeks at minimum.

3.  retro-actively work on the album and i will hand you a copy for free.

4.  burn a copy from a friend.  don’t do this.  i know its an option, but if you really want to hear my music before you buy it you can see me play it live or stream it at myspace and cdbaby.  if you are just hard up for cash, i want you to have it more than i want your money so just ask me.

I am going to use any revenue I get from CD sales to invest in future projects and maintaining my musical pursuits.  So, by buying a CD you are really donating to support me continuing to do this.

Hugs,

Ian

Release Party

album release

Finally Done and Waiting

The last few weeks has been a bit of a blur as I have been pulling together all the final steps of this project.  I finished the mix with Keith (who did a really fantastic job) and was really happy with how it turned out.  I had it mastered at Crystal Clear studios in Dallas – and man were they fast.  Right now it is at the printers.

My friends and I are planning to have a release party for the album on Saturday May 9th, 7pm at the Village Cafe in downtown Bryan.  I think it will be a really great time where I will play some songs live, maybe have some special guests and we can all hang out together.

I created a new myspace page (myspace.com/iancnelson) and a facebook page (search Ian C Nelson) where you can preview some of the album songs.

Tomorrow night (April 24th) I’ll be playing at the Palace in downtown Bryan for the International Justice Mission benefit concert.  Clairmont and Ross King will be playing too, and I might steal a few of them for some of my songs.  So if you can, come out and enjoy some music, learn about a fantastic organization and donate some money.

Lastly, here’s the album art designed by the always-impressive Ben Langford.  Hope to see you on the 9th!

Thursday

I’ll be playing this Thursday night in downtown Bryan at the Frame Gallery.  I will be opening for Tom Conlon, a singer/songwriter from Massachusetts.  The show starts at around 7pm.  Hope to see you there.

In other news I think I played the very last note for the recordings today.  It is in the process of being mixed now by Keith.  After a couple weeks when this is finished, I will send it off to a mastering/duplication company to then receive the final product.  Some friends of mine are planning a release party for mid to late April, details to follow.

Electrics

Doug, my good friend and oh-so-talented guitarist, made the trip to College Station this past weekend with our friend Brett in tow.  I have been playing guitar with Doug since we were in college together at UT and wish we still lived in the same town to facilitate that a bit better.  Doug is the sort of guitarist that grounds any delusions I might have of being a good guitarist.  I sent him some scratch work with electric guitar I had recorded over the studio work.  It thought it was pretty good and that we would just do something similar when we got to the studio.  Doug showed up at my door around 10am on Sunday and we worked through some of his ideas.  It was a completely different level.  It just felt really professional.  So after lunch we hit the studio to cut that stuff.

Me liking what I am hearing

We brought along my Fender Deluxe (hands down one of the best things I have ever purchased) and mic’d it in one of the isolation rooms.  Its a loud amp and will make your ears bleed with the volume set at a 3 out of a possible 12.  Thats also about the same volume it starts to sound really good.  But tucked away in the other room we were able to crank the amp and live to hear another day.  We split Doug’s signal coming from his effects board into two channels:  one directly into the mixing board and the other through my amp.  That way we aren’t stuck with just one sound if we want to go back and change it.

My Turn

I added in some slide parts with the volume pedal effect I posted on earlier.  It came out really well and greatly compliments some of the songs.

Doug explaining his theory of dropped things

We spent about 2.5 hours in the studio and then were done.  Doug and Brett hit the road for Austin and I was one step closer to finishing.

Thanks to Brett for snapping these iPictures.

The Home Stretch

Well now that the drums, bass, acoustic guitar and lead vocals are all finished, I am counting down the days to the conclusion of this project.  I set a February 20th deadline to have the record out of the studio and on its way to the duplication company. That will mean I hopefully have the thing in my hands the first week in March.

So what’s left?  It feels like a lot.  My good friend is making his way in from Austin and we are going to track some electric guitar parts over the weekend.  From the scratch work I’ve done so far, this will add a lot to a few of the songs.  There is also quite a bit of little textures that we will be adding to the songs in the next week and a half:  accordians, mandolins, harmonicas, etc. Ross and I have a pretty good idea of where each of the instruments are going to fit into different songs, but I am still ready to hear how it all comes together.

My friend Ben and I have been working on some cover art.  Ben is by far the most fantastic drawer that I know and I was really excited when he told me he could help me out.  From our first couple of meetings, I think the result is going to be really wonderful and will visually represent the music quite well.

Looking back over the last 6 months or so, I have gained a new appreciation for crafting a song from start to finish.  I’ve never had the motivation to dissect and rebuild a song.  I often write a song and as soon as I have something halfway complete I am moving on to the next bit of inspiration.  But being in the studio is different.  There is a more focused approach to the music.  I have found elements in some of my songs I wish I had further developed, spent more time with.  Now I am wondering how this experience is going to shape my future song writing, and if the result will be welcome.

Oops

I may or may not have forgotten about this thing.

Here’s the progress:  I finished all the acoustic guitar over the past few weeks and about half of the other instrumentation has been sketched out.  In the next few weeks I will record all the vocals and finish the instrumentation.  After that Keith will mix the whole thing and then send it off for the mastering.

The acoustic guitar work was the most fun for me up to this point.  We used two acoustics for the recording:  the old Fender I mentioned in some earlier posts, and my Taylor 714.  The two sound very different.  The Taylor is crisp and clean while the Fender is loud, buzzy and a little rough around the edges.  The Taylor was recorded on a lot of the songs and seemed to record a bit better.  I did a lot more pick work then I usually do when I play my songs.  I use a lot of finger picking or finger strumming when I play, but that wasn’t really recording that well.  The guitar parts sounded a lot better when I used a pick to play them.

I have also been experimenting a bit with some of the electric guitar sounds on the record.  I recently converted an old wah-wah pedal to a volume pedal.  I had this old pedal lying around my parents house that I bought sometime in my early teens when I thought it would be cool to play like Jimi Hendrix.  Fortunately it didn’t see much action and has been collecting dust for the last decade.  I had a thought that the pedal hardware is pretty much the same for a volume pedal, and maybe it would be a quick fix to convert it.  I found some wiring diagrams online and jumped one of the capacitors in the circuit board.  5 minutes later I had a working volume pedal.  The thing about a volume pedal is that you can get some pretty fantastic guitar sounds that add a lot of atmosphere.  I borrowed my Dad’s hollow body electric, tuned it to open D and with a slide have been working on some sounds pretty close to a pedal steel.  Playing along to some of my recorded tracks and I fell head over heels for the sound.  So if I can practice my technique enough, this should be all over the record when all is said and done.

Thats all for now.  I’ll try to be better about updating this thing in the coming weeks.

Drums and Bass

Done.

Wednesday (10/29) we did a marathon session in the studio and knocked out a big chunk of the album work.  I arrived around 3pm to find Michael and Ross setting up the drums.  They had been getting things together since around 1:30.  It was near 4:30 before Keith and Ben showed up, and we had all the chords plugged into the right ports, the mics pointed in the right direction and all the songs imported in the right format.  Once we started rolling, we didn’t stop – only for some greasy chicken fingers and fries around dinner time.

We plowed through 8 songs and were all wrapped up and out the door by 11pm.  My demos could have been better, but they could also have been a whole lot worse.  Apart from the excess fan noise my laptop mic picked up, and the spots in most songs I was on and off time, the guys were able to track to the demos.  I had to redo Where I’ve Found You in the studio that night.  We rehearsed the song a few weeks back and played it at a faster tempo that felt a lot better than the tempo I recorded the demo to.  I sent Ben out to get a few brews and before he returned I had finished.

I was completely impressed with Ben and Michael.  I had an idea in my mind how the songs should feel, but I’m not a bass player or a drummer so it was hard for me to communicate what their instruments should sound like.  I had to resort to words like “loping,” “brooding,” and “dark.”  And sometimes, “could you just make that sound a little weirder.”  They were able to quickly pick up on what I was describing – and I think – really enhance what I was hearing in my head.  So, cheers to them.  Their work is going to really mark this record.

I will probably write more later on Ross and Keith to give them their dues.  But for now, Keith kept things running really smooth and Ross added production wisdom to get the most out of the rhythm section.

Sometime in the next day or two I am going to run by and export the songs so I can take them home to listen to and play to.  For whatever reason, ProTools only enable a 1 to 1 export rate, so it will take some sitting to get all my songs off the studio computer.

I am really looking forward to the next two stages, my vocals and guitar, and all the other instrumentation.  I think it will be really fun to track the vocals and the guitar.  The instrumentation opens up so many doors the danger will be to spread out in too many directions.  My favorite records have a real consistency to them.  Sometimes that has to do with themes, sometimes with instrumentation.  I really like the idea of all the individual songs being in the context of a holistic album.  We can choose to do that with some really bare bones production – like the Rick Ruben produced Johnny Cash and Neil Diamond records – or with some consistent instrumentation throughout.  Two records I have been listening to a lot the last few months demonstrate the latter:  The Walkmen’s You & Me, and Department of Eagles’, In Ear Park.

So, for the next few weeks I will be adding and removing, cutting and chopping, mucking up and stripping down the sounds and textures that will clothe this record.

Getting Closer

Had the first rehearsal today before we jump into the studio.  It went really well.  This was the first time I had played any of my songs with a rhythm section.  It created a different dynamic that for me was just plain fun. We had originally planned for Friday night, but upon arriving at our space realized someone else was occupying it.  But Sunday afternoon worked just fine.

Also, I don’t think I’m drinking enough water.  Today during rehearsals I kept getting choked up.  Not only was it the emotional intensity built into my lyrics, but my throat felt really dry.  Every time I got kinda high up in my range my eyes watered, I lost strength in my voice, and I began choking.  This happened a few months ago while I was singing at a small house show.  So I think that I am either suffering from chronic dehydration or I am allergic to microphones.

Should be in the studio for the rhythm stuff on the 10th October.